1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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