Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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