You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize