He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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