Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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