so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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