All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
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One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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