I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
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What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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