you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize