the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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