If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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