i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize