The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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