My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I want you more than these girls want KFC
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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