No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize