ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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