I puked a lego.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
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So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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