I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize