Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yo dont text me then not text me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've blown a few things in my day
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
