did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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