When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
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We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize