i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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