Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
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Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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