I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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