Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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