Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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