Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
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Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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