I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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