I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize