I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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