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Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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