My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize