i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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