Im at strip club and am horny
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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