Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize