Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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