Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize