he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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