Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize