I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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