It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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