It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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