I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize