Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
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Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
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I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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