I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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