It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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