FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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