She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
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can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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