i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize