if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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